Forgiveness.

Don Henley and The Eagles are having a reunion called, "Long Road Out of Eden Tour " this year.  A favourite song of mine came out some years ago which is called, The Heart of the Matter.  I thought I would share the lyrics with you...my comments continue afterward.

I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?
 

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore
 
These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
...People filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
The trust and self-assurance that can lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us,
Doesn't keep me warm
 
I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you, Baby
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But everything changes
And my friends seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

Forgiveness.  The true character of a man or women is his/her ability to forgive.

Let's consider the "cost of not forgiving".  You know these people...they will not let go of some wrong that they think was committed against them.  And they are not going to "let it go".  This results in bitterness and anger...and it plays a huge toll on their physical health. 

Let it go...
Don't take an offense...
Suck it up...

Whatever it is..."Let it go!"

But why?  Let me give you an example...what would you do if some young person went into your child or siblings High School and shot your child or sibling dead?
Here is the actual story of Dale Lang whose son was killed by a 14 year old just a week after the Columbine Shootings.

The truth is we all need forgiveness...let's give it away so we can get forgiveness.

In the Lord's Prayer...Jesus tells his disciples..."forgive us as we forgives those that trespass against us".  Seems pretty clear...if we chose NOT to forgive...God will not forgive us of our sins.  Oh Oh!  Perhaps it is time to consider forgiving my enemies.

Just Do It.  You don't have to like it...but it is a good deal.  Your sins forgiven as you forgive others.

Just imagine if people groups, cities, states and nations practiced forgiveness...what a world we would have.  Now there is something to think about!

Choose your friends wisely.

Through no fault of its business owners, the Board of Directors of Acme Corporation (not there real name) discovered one day that they had overspent their bank account by some millions of dollars.  Immediate reviews by the  company president and an outside accounting firm found that the finance department leaders were asleep at the helm.  The company president bought in in a new CFO and put in place a new finance team to fix the problem...all the while ensuring to the company owners, employees, unions and bankers that Acme was solvent and would continue to meet the needs of its customers.

The bankers respected the president, they knew he was a tough leader and could make the tough decisions to guide the company through the valley of debt.  The company managers respected the president as well and were willing to dig in and do all they could do to reduce expenditures.

Things were looking good until some of the Board of Directors voted against the president.  A good man was being challenged by the board he had faithfully served.

The lesson here is that you really find out what people are really like when adversity stares them in the face.  When you study the board members in our story...you begin to see their true colours.  This can only be observed in times of difficulty.  Why? Because in good times...everyone is happy.  But in bad times...you get to see the real character of a man or woman.  Some of the board...did not respect the president, and therefore, in true lack of character...took the opportunity to criticize. 

Fairweather friends are everywhere.  You know who your real friends are in difficult times.

So my question to you is…in your relationships at work, school and play…watch how people act (or react) in times that are difficult.  There true character is displayed in the storms of life.

I want people who stick with me in the storms…Surround yourself with people of strong character and you will weather every storm.   Unfortunately for Acme, some of the Board proved they were “fairweather friends…men and women of weak character".   The President was the only one of true strength of character.

When choosing friends or business partners or Board Members or even marriage partners...take heed to watch the character of the friend or people you pick it will be the success or failure of your venture. The sun will not always shine...storms will come.  Choose Wisely.

Michelangelo was quite the guy.

I knew he painted and was a sculptor but I did not know that he was an architect as well.  Whatever he put his hand to...he did it excellently.  Hundred of years later and we are still celebrating his work.  Will you have a "masterpiece life" like Michelangelo?

Now don't feel pressure to perform.  I am not talking about competing for the world's attention as the "best ______ " in the world.  What I am talking about is an attitude...a paradigm...a way of seeing your destiny in this world as being one of significance.

What would it take to create a masterpiece?  Just ask Michelangelo.

"Time, Patience and the Drive for Excellence"

We all have the same amount of time...so that is within our control.  Patience...the ability to wait...to think and appreciate the "long-term" view.  This too is found among us mere mortals.  So I guess it is the drive to pursue excellence that separates average lives from masterpiece lives.

You can do it.  You can create a masterpiece life by making a decision to do your personal best at whatever you put your hand to.  It is always a decision.  Today a young man asked me to critique his resume.  Upon observation, it was obvious that is was just thrown together.  I took him aside and challenged him to take some extra time and re-format the document so it would better present the information.  It is your life...how do you want people to see you...as average or worse...mediocre...or do you want others to see you as excellent? 

Make a commitment to pursue excellence and declare your war against being average.  As usual....the decision is yours.  When life is all over...you will have no on else to blame when you review your life of 80 years. 

Declare War on Mediocrity.

Wiki: Michelangelo

James Stockdale.  The highest ranking naval officer in the Hanoi Hilton (read: Prisoner of War Camp, Vietnam War)

If you think you have it bad, you think life is tough, if you are considering that it is time to quit...then you need to consider the story of James Stockdale. Check out the following excerpt from Wikipedia on Stockdale;

In a business book by James C. Collins called Good to Great, Collins writes about a conversation he had with Stockdale regarding his coping strategy during his period in the Vietnamese POW camp.[6]

"I never lost faith in the end of the story, I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade."[7]

When Collins asked who didn't make it out of Vietnam, Stockdale replied:

"Oh, that’s easy, the optimists. Oh, they were the ones who said, 'We're going to be out by Christmas.' And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they'd say, 'We're going to be out by Easter.' And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart."[7]

Stockdale then added:

"This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”[7]

Witnessing this philosophy of duality, Collins went on to describe it as the Stockdale Paradox.

So what does this mean to you.  In short, when tough times come and they surely will, you must confront the brutal facts as well as confirm your faith that with God on your side that you will prevail in the end.