Break my heart.  Met recently with a Business School grad from years ago.  He has struggled in his employment...having a number of positions but nothing to write home about.  As we talked it was evident that he did not know "who he was".  No idea. 

This is really not to anyone's surprise.  Who tells you who you are?  Teachers tell you who you are not!  Just look at the education system...it is sad when after 12 years of school, our students have no idea what they are designed for.  Parents have the responsibility to identify strengths...signature core strengths is what the academics in positive psychology call it.  However, in reality most have bought into the deficit model that the school system is built on.  "Johnny...you got a D in Math so we are going to get you a tutor...and by the way, no more soccer after school until your marks improve!"

Now that is a motivator!

The greatest gift you can give another person is to identify their natural God-given strengths.

I remember I was in my early 30's before I found out who I was...and it has made all the difference.  A lady came up to me church one day and said, "You don't know who you are, do you?"  I had to agree.  Her response was, "You are compassion".  So with that information, I went out to employ my strength area in the education, business and government sectors.  I now skip to work and play...because I only play to my strengths.

Be who you are and be it excellently (de Salles)

Your homework is to begin the journey and ask those that know you best...parents, coaches, partners..."What words would use to describe my core strengths?   More on this on my next post.

Abraham Lincoln has impacted my thinking this year.  In reading Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns I found that Lincoln invited into his inner cabinet all his rival competitors.  When asked why he did this Lincoln replied, "The Nation is in great need and I need the best and wisest men to assist in leading it".

It has been said, "Hang out with wise people and you will be wise".  Perhaps it could also be said, "Hang out with dumb people and you will be dumb". 

I think everyone would agree with the above statements. If that is so, I have to ask myself, "Why is it that I do not hang out with more wise people?"

The solution to the above observation is that we probably do not want to ask the "dumb questions" because then everyone will know we are dumb or we are too insecure to admit to ourself and others that we do not know the answer.  A business coach agreed that many CEO's of mid and large size companies commented that, they are generally insecure and really wonder if they know what they are doing.

So where does this get us?

Generally, we all are insecure and fearful of the opinions and thoughts of others.  Getting the wrong answer in elementary school does not encourage one to keep asking questions.  The cost of asking is greater than the cost of doing nothing.

The solution is to have your eyes and ears open to wisdom.  It is out there crying in the streets.  Have courage to ask questions.  Get over your fear of what others think.  Seek out wise counsel.  Do not act in haste...be like Lincoln and invite those that share an opposing position to you into your inner cabinet. 

We are all wiser together.

McDonald's is famous for asking every customer..."Will you have fries with that?"  They understand the power of "asking".

One of the first things we learn as a child is to 'ask' for things.  "Dad, can I have ride on your back?  Dad, may I have a cell phone?"  Some things you got and others were put off for another day when you would ask again.
Regardless, because you trusted your Dad...you believed that he would somehow provide for your needs and wants. 

Then as you got older, for some reason you stopped asking for things...perhaps because you lost trust in your Dad's ability to give you what you wanted or needed.  Regardless, you stopped asking.

So here you are today.  All by yourself...struggling to find out your place in this world.  You assume that others cannot or will not assist you in meeting your needs and wants.

Wrong thinking.  People love to help you if they know your needs.  They are only too happy to assist anyone in their quest for a "big" life.  But how can they help if they do not know your needs?

In a particular story of Jesus and his disciples, he chastens them for pushing the children away.  He states, "...unless you become as a child...you cannot enter into the Kingdom of Heaven."  The message here is that we are to have a childlike faith in our Father to provide for us.  And what do children always do?  They ask for things. 

The challenge for all of us is to "ASK" in every situation.  We do not know the outcome...but that does not matter.  The question we all need to consider is, "Did we do all that we can?"

Did we simply...ask?

Risk is Your Friend

People run from risk.  They are afraid of failure.  "What will people think?"... Reasons go on and on.  The result is that they live small lives.  These are the folks that have the Lottery as their retirement plan.  They live in the world of "what if's and if only". 

Everything is risk.   If I court this young lady...she could leave me.  If I get married...we may get a divorce.  If we have children...they could die.  Perhaps you think that a little extreme...but if you think about it...it is not far from the truth.  Business can fail. Relationships can fail.  But, you will never know until you take that step.

Solution:  Take small steps, embrace humble beginnings...but more than anything, do something.  When we create businesses, or welcome new relationships we move into the realm of possibility...this is what we are made for.  Accept risk and you are putting yourself in place for the miracle of growth...at worst and best you are going to grow as a person...and isn't that what it is all about?

Why is there so much paralysis of analysis?
Why is there so much fear in pursuing dreams and goals?
Why is there so much talk and so little action?

IBM is the king of planning.  They really know what they are doing.  Mega-hit products.  Dell is the upstart competitor.  They know what they are doing too.  Very successful as well.  So what is the difference?  

IBM is paralyzed by its previous success and MUST have a hit time after time.  Failure is not an option.  Dell on the other hand is a DOER.   They are not hooked on success.  They are hooked on learning what works for their customer.  I would say the difference in a nutshell is IBM is a planning organization and Dell is an example of an learning organization.

Schools teach curriculum and are much more aligned with an IBM philosophy.  Concerned about success and less about learning…meeting the real needs of customers.

The analogy of students spending four years studying pools.  How to make them, understanding the factors of supply and demand on the need for pools, what the best practices are of successful pools are, the best temperatures to maintain your pool at for maximum pleasure.  They know everything about them…but never jump in and experience them.   Author Seth Godin tells his story as a graduate of entrepreneurial Stanford University Business School where at least half of the 300 grads in his year boasted they were going to start their own business sooner or later.  Twenty years later he states that only 30 actually did.  Much talk…no action.   Big hat…no cattle.

Just start it.  Develop your prototype...and get it out there...learn...improve.