Paul McCartney tells the story behind the hit song he wrote..."Let it be" in Marlo Thomas's book The Right Words at the Right Time.  It is a powerful story and I will try to summarize it without damaging his words too badly.

Paul tells the story of what happened in the autumn of 1968...it had been a difficult time for him and he was doing a lot of clubbing, drugs and drinking.
Paul writes;
"Then one night, somewhere between deep sleep and insomnia, I had the most comforting dream about my mother, who died when I was only fourteen.  She had been a nurse, my mum, and very hardworking, because she wanted the best for us.  We weren't a well-off family---we didn't have a car, we just about had a television----so both of my parents went out to work, and Mum contributed a good half to the family income. At night when she came home, she would cook, so we didn't have a lot of time with each other.  Bus she was just a very comforting presence in my life.  And when she died , one of the difficulties I had, as the years went by, was that I couldn't recall her face so easily. ....
 
So in this dream twelve years later, my mother appeared, and there was her face, completely clear, particularly her eyes; and he said to me very gently, very reassuringly, "Let it be". ...

So, being a musician, I went right over to the piano and started writing a song: "When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me" ...Mary was my mother's name... "Speaking words of wisdom, let it be  There will be an answer, let it be,"  It didn't take long.  I wrote the main body of it in one go, and then the subsequent verses developed from there:  "When all the broken-hearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be."

Let It Be,  Give It Up,  Don't Take an Offense,  Get Over It...

Whatever the saying, the truth is...we need to recognize that life is unfair at times. There are always disappointments and disappointing people that are a challenge for us.  Nevertheless, I choose to look at the good things in life...and celebrate them.  That does not mean we ignore life's sad situations...we deal with them when appropriate but we intentionally refuse to focus on the sad...but celebrate the glad.  
Life is all about making choices...choose today to "let it be".

 

Respect.

Live with it...and your life works.  Even your enemies will be at peace with you..if they respect you. If your boss respects you, life is good.  If your partner/spouse respects you, life is very good.  If the community respects...you get elected.

Live without respect ...and your life falls apart.  No one wants to go out of their way for someone that they do not respect.  If your boss doesn't respect you...it is the beginning of the end.  If your spouse does not respect you...divorce will be knocking at the door.  Politicians that are not respected...are soon out of office. 

The long-term outlook for any relationship that does not have respect one another  as its foundation is not positive.

On the macro-scale...if countries respect your country...trade agreements are easy.  If they do not respect you...it like rolling a stone up hill.  Nothing is easy.  It works the same on every level of life.  Have respect, have life.  No respect, no life.

Let me share a story from my own life that illustrates the power of respect and its benefits...and similarly the disastrous effects of an absence of respect. 

First my respectful, inspiring story:
I had the opportunity to work for the Canadian Founder of McDonalds and Keg Restaurants...George Tidball.  George inspired his employees, he considered them his friends.  He realized that he would be spending more time at work than at home with his wife so he had better enjoy the people he worked with.  George created numerous millionaires as they invested into McDonalds and The Keg.  More importantly, he touched the lives of thousands of his employees and their families by creating extra revenue for university tuition, a desired boat, a trip to Europe or a second family for someone that needed one.  George is a hero...his son, Stephen has made a difference in my life as well...because he  also, like his father is more interested in others.  I respect this man and his family.  I would do anything for them.

On the other hand, my lack of respect story:
I know another man who in conversation one day  made a statement to me and then followed up with this, "and if you ever tell anyone what I just said in public, I will deny it."  From that day on, I never respected that man.  This lack of integrity was such an affront to how I view life that it  initiated the deterioration of our relationship and at its root was a lack of respect.  (How to move forward in these relationships will be a discussion of future posts.)

The lesson here is to associate with people you respect...and it will result in your life being blessed and you will be inspired everyday.    I am forever grateful that I got to know George Tidball.  because of all the people that respect him...he is the richest man in town.

The Great Man is Dead.
Doing everything by yourself is so dead…so yesterday.

Frank Sinatra had it all wrong… “I did it my way” is the anthem of yesterday…it is really a lie to think that you can go through life “alone” doing it your way.  In Warren Bennis’s book “Organizing Genius” his first chapter is called, “The End of the Great Man”.  The book is a great read and I have a portion of it available on the Resource section of this site.  I will save you the reading by noting that, “nothing great is done by individuals…only teams.”

Your success will be because of the help of many others.

You are not designed to be alone.  One of life’s saddest moments occurs at high school and university graduations each year.  I have attended numerous graduation ceremonies…and each year promising young people walk across the stage…alone.   While in school, they  experienced a special community.  Some bonded with others in  dormitories and together with roommates challenged ideas with zeal and studied for final exams together. Schools are meant to be wonderful places of growth and learning.  Then one day it all comes to an end.  Graduation day.   We are graduating individuals…to go into the journey of life to “do it their way” all on their own.

The most important gift we can give is ourselves.  Sharing ourselves with each other.   Recently a friend asked my what was the most important lesson.  I had to say that it is all about “relationships”.  Nothing else is more important.  

The opposite to relationships is “individualism” which results in unhealthy and lonely relationships and breeds an attitude of, “It’s all about me”.  These folks receive “me-mail” because it is all about them!  To give you a word picture of individualism, I will ask you this question, “What part of your body works independent of all other parts of your body?”  The answer is of course that there is no part that works independent of other organs of the body…it is a beautiful orchestra…where the sum of the whole is amazing.
The only example you will find in a body of independent thinking is…disease.  That is correct…cancers do what they are going to do and they do not care about anything or anyone else.  They have their own agenda.

So how are we to live?  The answer is to live in inter-dependent relationships where each person experiences the give and take of open and honest relationships.  The gift is you giving and receiving love…do that each day and you will be the richest man or woman in town.

In the movie, "It's a Wonderful Life", George Bailey through no fault of his own loses some money and considers suicide as he is worth more dead than alive.  He prays and wishes he was never born.  George is granted his wish and he learns about all the things that would not have happened because he was not there to make a difference.  Realizing his value (The George Bailey Effect) to others he prays again to have his life back and he receives his wish.  In the final scene George is surrounded by the love of family and community as they share an out-pouring of wealth to solve his financial problems.

Indeed, as the angel Clarence say's "No man is a failure who has friends!"
Together is Better.

What we see...we remember...what we remember...we act upon.

How does Southwest Airlines remind its partner/employees of its main corporate value? 

It has its stock ticker name on the New York Stock Exchange listed as LUV.

Nick Jonas wears dog tags to remind himself that he has to manage his diabetes.  It is a visual reminder that catches his eye every time he changes his shirt.  The above portion of scripture...speaks to "binding truth around your neck" as a way of reminding yourself of the things that are important...by keeping it visual. 

Companies/Organizations/People that are successful...regularly put in front of its core audience (or themselves) the core message...this is what we are all about.  What are your corporate values and how do you make them visual....or are they in the Company Manual only hidden from view?  How about your family values....what are they?  What is the core message you want each of your family members to share with this world?

So how do I do this? 
Having To-do Lists is an excellent way to visually remind yourself of actions that need to be done. 
Post your Goals for you and your family to see.
Put pictures on the wall that remind you of your dreams and goals.
Order some dog tags like Nick Jonas and put your core message that you want to constantly remember.
(Please comment on your ideas for keeping your goals and values visual.)

So how would one who wanted to put visual reminders of love and faithfulness.  Put it on you goal list and review it daily.  Put a note by the phone or computer... reminding yourself to use words that are loving to others that you are communicating with. 

Keep it visual.  Put it everywhere just like Southwest Airlines...and spread the LUV!

Ledger You Spending…The “L-Word”

John D Rockefeller began the habit of recording every penny spent and earned in his life.  These were very small amounts of money that he was dealing with…but the idea is not the amount but the fact that you were recording your financial choices…and reviewing them each day…it would give you an understanding of the “value of money”.

Set up a ledger with a columns for each of these headings; Date, Explanation, Money In, Money Out and Balance.  Set a high standard of insisting that you record all your transactions of the day in your ledger before you go to bed.

In a previous entry I introduced the “F-word” and now you have the “L-word” to add to your success vocabulary.  My students come to me and are amazed at how this system holds them accountable for their spending by making them review their spending decisions daily.  You do not need a “budget” if you are doing your ledger each day.  Most people I know say, “I need to get on a budget”.  Budgets do not work in my experience because they do not give daily feedback. 

Please leave your ledger stories by making a comment on this blog entry…it will be encouraging to others.

The story goes like this.  Put your name in the appropriate space and let’s see if this hits home with you.  

You come home from work and your spouse is angry at you.  You have no idea what is the problem because she is not talking to you.  This is known as the silent treatment.  You go to bed hoping for a better day tomorrow.   In her mind…she plays it this way, “Doesn’t he know what he said about my mother would get me upset!  I am just going to ignore him until he apologizes!”
 
Introducing the 24 Hour Rule…

We all need successful systems in our life.  One of the most powerful “systems” was shared with me years ago by author and friend and mentor, Ken Blue.  Ken has a Ph.D and is one of the wisest men I know.  You may have heard of the old scriptural saying of “don’t let the sun go down on your anger”.   The general thought is that one should clear –up all the days tensions before one goes to sleep.  Ken updated it and called it the 24 hour Rule.  I have since shared this with students, teachers, clients and business leaders.  All, with profound results.   Ken Blue restated the proverb by saying:
 
“You have 24 hours to confront the person who wronged you, or you lose the right to be hurt”.  

He was wisely stating that if you do not deal with your hurt/frustration/anger…you are now part of the problem…because the other person may have no idea they have made you hurt, frustrated or angry.  They are completely unaware that something is wrong.   If you do not tell them what is the problem…you are now part of the problem.  

Yes it works in business too.  A friend of mine announced during a staff meeting that, “starting today if you have any issues…you have 24 hours to tell me about it…or you lose the right to hurt.”  Within minutes he had a response on his email from an employee.  To make a long story short, the employee was frustrated about not being invited to a lunch-hour client meeting.  Once my friend knew the feelings of a staff member he was able to welcome him into the client meeting...the result...a fully engaged employee and a healthy work environment.

It is guaranteed to work...or your money refunded!

I recently met a young man who was so excited about the young lady he had met.  It was the girl of his dreams.  His smile was so big...he was definitely smitten.  As I began to ask questions...it was obvious that he had some further homework to do before he asked the "big question".

The "Millionaire Mind" is a book written by Dr. Thomas Stanley who was doing research on how to market to the wealthy.  His research showed some amazing findings which surprised me.  One fact he found is that the true wealthy do not send their children to private schools.  They research and find the best public schools with high academic environments and then move their family to that  school community. 

On finding a spouse it was even more informative and as you may gather...the findings are challengingly simple (but not easy!)  However, I will share his findings on a predictor of future financial health and wealth.  He found that people who are wealthy are frugal.  They understand the value of money and are cautious on how they spend it.  Frugality is the mindset of the wealthy.  He found that if you could respond "yes" to the following three questions...you have a foundation for building future wealth.

Are your parents frugal?

Is your spouse frugal?

Are you frugal?

Consider your current relationships...did you get "three yes answers"? Definitely something to think about.  So when you are considering marriage...ask the "F-questions".  Now if you are reading this a little later in life...and you realize that your spouse and your parents were not frugal...take comfort that it is never too late to start.  Change begins with YOU and that you have control over.

On a future post I will share with you John D. Rockefeller's daily tip for frugal living and it has made all the difference in my life.  It's the "L-Word"!

Fearless.

The story goes like this.   A young man had recently taken on the responsibility of being a "Big Brother" to a young boy who was in Grade Four.  Eager to be a good example and to make a difference in the boys life, each summer he would ensure that the young boy had a weekend away at a lake. 

While at the lake he spared no expense.  Whatever the boy wanted to do...they did it.  They enjoyed lazy days on the lake, rented Seadoo's, and every meal was in a restaurant.  Money was not a concern. 

However, there was one ride on the lake that would be a "no go" for years.  The young man said the para-sailing ride was "too expensive."  The truth of the situation would not come out until six summers had past.  Each year they would go up to the lake and enjoy all the experiences and "eating out" any boy would appreciate.  Also, each year they watched the para-sailing ride take thrill seekers high above the lake...and each year the response from the young man to the young boy was that it was..."just too expensive".

The truth of the matter came out in the seventh year...you see, the young man was afraid that if he was to put the parachute harness on, signal the boat driver to go with the traditional "thumbs up"...that he would not go up in the air...but, he would be dragged behind the boat.  This was all in his head but he was not going to take any chance of embarassment.  You see, the young man had a picture in his mind that he was still the "fat kid" that was last to be picked in the elementary school gym team.  His perception of how he saw himself...was more powerful...than the reality of who he actually was.

Well, as you guessed it, in the seventh year, by some force he was propelled to take this leap.  He pays and gets his harness on and then gives the "thumbs up" sign to the boat driver.  The boat digs in and like magic...the young man goes up high in the air.  From this vantage point he can see the wondrous beauty of the colours in the water, the orchards, the sun on his face and the desert beyond...it was amazing!

Then something happened that changed his life forever, he heard a still small voice clearly say, "This is what I wish for all my children, that they would live without fear."  If that was how God speaks then this was one of those times.  Amazed, he safely landed back on the shore.

With this new understanding, he went home and considered his new insight.  Two weeks later, while praying he asks God..."What do you want me to do that I am too afraid to do...because I don't want to get to Heaven and find out you had some nifty plans for me...but I was to afraid to do it."  Again, like the time before, a still small voice said, "Run for (election)." 

Faithful to the voice, he ran, and no one thought he would win.  On election day the local papers rated all the candidates and gave the young man the worst odds on his chance of winning the election.  He ran and won by 86 votes.

So the question for you today is,  "What does God want you to do...because you don't want to get to Heaven and find out he had some nifty things for you to do...but you were too afraid do it?"

By the way...in case you didn't guess already...the young man was me.
 

Q:  What Was Enron's Big Mistake?

A:  They Thought In The Short-Term.

New Years Resolution Time.  Instead of just one year time frame goals and dreams, how about considering some two, three or five year goals.  Once completed and passed by the family, I will post my goals.  Feel free to use the template in anyway.  I will be writing on them in future posts.

Thinking in the long-term is always the best way to think.  In the long term., what is in the best interest of self, family, business, community?  This breeds commitment to a vision, ethical standards are in high regard.  When we think in the short-term, immediate gratification, poor decisions ensue.   Enron would never have gone the way it did if it had the long-term view in the minds of its leaders.  Once they made short term decision their main standard…the results were disastrous for employees and shareholders.  The stock market is so short-term that no one in leadership can think long-term…this is a grievious error…everything is about how the stock is doing today.  No one is thinking about tomorrow when it comes to the stock market.  Use the market as an example of how NOT to be.

Think differently…think long-term in all decisions of life.  How are you  thinking long-term?  What are the three to five year goal(s) you are going to commit to?