(from my Mentor and Friend, Ken Blue - website: Good News To The Poor)
Before answering that question, ask

Would I rather be right or happy?

Would I rather solve a problem or avoid taking responsibility for that problem?

When something goes wrong in a country, an organization, or a marriage the first move we often make is to blame someone for what went wrong. This makes no one happy and the problem remains.

An example is the U.S. economy, which is currently not good. Who's to blame? Each political party knows the answer. It's the other party. No one is happy and the problem worsens. Instead of spending vast amounts of energy and ink blaming and defending against blame, imagine both parties taking 100% responsibility for the problem and setting to work.

Blaming and defending against blame is not only exhausting, it also hardens positions. Ceasing that activity releases huge amounts of energy and creativity to address the problem.

I, for one, cannot see that happening at the Federal level, but I have seen it happen in marriages and companies.

For the past 40 years I have counseled hundreds of troubled marriages. Without exception, each partner blamed the other for their troubles. My first step is always to ask couples to suspend judgment and blaming for now. I asked them to think of their marriage sitting in a boat that is sinking. For now, I say, it doesn't matter who put the holes in your boat. I invite each of you to take 100% responsibility for the marriage and do everything in your power to plug the leaks. When I get agreement things improve immediately. Then and only then can the attitudes and decisions that caused the leaks be addressed. When each knows that the other is for the marriage and has the other's back, so to speak, can systemic problems be worked on.

I have seen the same happen in troubled companies I have consulted. When the stake holders decided together that the success of their business is more important than finding someone to blame, things immediately improve.

Blaming and shaming is useless for solving problems. Rather, it's for self-justification and defending one's ego. Protecting one's view of one's self is not a strategy for long term happiness and a better future.

After all involved take 100% responsibility and do everything in his or her power to solve the problems, the stage is set for a calm, rational examination of what went wrong and who did what. This is when bad decisions and attitudes of the past can be identified and corrected. When everyone knows that everyone else is committed to everyone's mutual interest, the atmosphere is created for long term systematic problem solving. A small price to pay for having to be right all the time.

Look at the evidence. 

Being right is often costly and in any event is overrated.  

Posted by Ken Blue at 10:19 AM 

I remember meeting the former Chairman of the Board of  Walmart.

Someone in the room asked how Walmart managed to keep 1 million employees going in the same direction.  He interrupted and stated..."actually 1.5 million employees".  Then he went on to tell us of the fight against the MBA syndrome that all  organizations struggle with.  

This syndrome is what befell Sears and many other well known retailers.  It is about business managers with freshly minted MBA's come to run businesses.  They sit in office towers and are distant from the manufacturing floor.  They do not get there hands dirty in the day to day operations and have much more important decisions to make.  They do not talk to customers and cannot remember the last time they did...nor do they want to to.  They have real work to do.

He went on to say that every Walmart Manager must spend a door on the floor of their store each week.
(No Sears Tower for Wal-mart!)
Key:  Love your customers... (or someone else will!)

Don't Wait to solve a problem.
Solve and Do it today.

In all relationships we tend to put things off.  Perhaps we are afraid of the confrontation, perhaps  we don't like making others feel uncomfortable.

Do NOT put off those challenging talks. Do not do what is easy.  Do not accommodate a slow pace. We need a sense of urgency.

To read about Stockton California Bankruptcy Click here 

Max Lucado tells this story that is profound (thanks to my friend Steve Schroeder for sharing it)...

Once there was an old man who lived in a tiny village. Although poor, he was envied by all, for he owned a beautiful white horse. Even the king coveted his treasure. A horse like this had never been seen before—such was its splendor, its majesty, its strength.

People offered fabulous prices for the steed, but the old man always refused. “This horse is not a horse to me,” he would tell them. “It is a person. How could you sell a person? He is a friend, not a possession. How could you sell a friend?” The man was poor and the temptation was great. But he never sold the horse.

One morning he found that the horse was not in the stable. All the village came to see him. “You old fool,” they scoffed, “we told you that someone would steal your horse. We warned you that you would be robbed. You are so poor. How could you ever hope to protect such a valuable animal? It would have been better to have sold him. You could have gotten whatever price you wanted. No amount would have been too high. Now the horse is gone, and you’ve been cursed with misfortune.”

The old man responded, “Don’t speak too quickly. Say only that the horse is not in the stable. That is all we know; the rest is judgment. If I’ve been cursed or not, how can you know? How can you judge?”

The people contested, “Don’t make us out to be fools! We may not be philosophers, but great philosophy is not needed. The simple fact that your horse is gone is a curse.”

The old man spoke again. “All I know is that the stable is empty, and the horse is gone. The rest I don’t know. Whether it be a curse or a blessing, I can’t say. All we can see is a fragment. Who can say what will come next?”

The people of the village laughed. They thought that the man was crazy. They had always thought he was fool; if he wasn’t, he would have sold the horse and lived off the money. But instead, he was a poor woodcutter, an old man still cutting firewood and dragging it out of the forest and selling it. He lived hand to mouth in the misery of poverty. Now he had proven that he was, indeed, a fool.

After fifteen days, the horse returned. He hadn’t been stolen; he had run away into the forest. Not only had he returned, he had brought a dozen wild horses with him. Once again the village people gathered around the woodcutter and spoke. “Old man, you were right and we were wrong. What we thought was a curse was a blessing. Please forgive us.”

The man responded, “Once again, you go too far. Say only that the horse is back. State only that a dozen horses returned with him, but don’t judge. How do you know if this is a blessing or not? You see only a fragment. Unless you know the whole story, how can you judge? You read only one page of a book. Can you judge the whole book? You read only one word of a phrase. Can you understand the entire phrase?

“Life is so vast, yet you judge all of life with one page or one word. All you have is a fragment! Don’t say that this is a blessing. No one knows. I am content with what I know. I am not perturbed by what I don’t.”

“Maybe the old man is right,” they said to one another. So they said little. But down deep, they knew he was wrong. They knew it was a blessing. Twelve wild horses had returned with one horse. With a little bit of work, the animals could be broken and trained and sold for much money.

The old man had a son, an only son. The young man began to break the wild horses. After a few days, he fell from one of the horses and broke both legs. Once again the villagers gathered around the old man and cast their judgments.

“You were right,” they said. “You proved you were right. The dozen horses were not a blessing. They were a curse. Your only son has broken his legs, and now in your old age you have no one to help you. Now you are poorer than ever.”

The old man spoke again. “You people are obsessed with judging. Don’t go so far. Say only that my son broke his legs. Who knows if it is a blessing or a curse? No one knows. We only have a fragment. Life comes in fragments.”

It so happened that a few weeks later the country engaged in war against a neighboring country. All the young men of the village were required to join the army. Only the son of the old man was excluded, because he was injured. Once again the people gathered around the old man, crying and screaming because their sons had been taken. There was little chance that they would return. The enemy was strong, and the war would be a losing struggle. They would never see their sons again.

“You were right, old man,” they wept. “God knows you were right. This proves it. Yours son’s accident was a blessing. His legs may be broken, but at least he is with you. Our sons are gone forever.”

The old man spoke again. “It is impossible to talk with you. You always draw conclusions. No one knows. Say only this: Your sons had to go to war, and mine did not. No one knows if it is a blessing or a curse. No one is wise enough to know. Only God knows.”

The old man was right. We only have a fragment. Life’s mishaps and horrors are only a page out of a grand book. We must be slow about drawing conclusions. We must reserve judgment on life’s storms until we know the whole story.

I don’t know where the woodcutter learned his patience. Perhaps from another woodcutter in Galilee. For it was the Carpenter who said it best:

“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.”3

He should know. He is the author of our story. And he has already written the final chapter.

1 Ecclesiastes 7:8
2 Romans 12:12
3 Matthew 6:34

Justin Bieber has fans that love him and just as many non-fans usually called "haters".

How Justin handles those "haters" will determine his long-term health and personal success.  You cannot move forward with your life when you are still locked into yesterday.

You cannot look forward and look back at the same time...
Which is it going to be... look back at your haters or forgive the offense and look forward.  YOU get to choose.  And therefore you get to choose your future.  While the jury is still out on Justin Bieber, you get to choose your destiny and it is in your hands.

Life Tips Come and Go...but this is a classic.


Everyday we get into conversations that are negative.  The strange thing is that if we were to have that same conversation with another person...they would likely be surprised by what comes out of our mouth.  

The conversations I am referring to is our inner "Mind Chatter".  We believe this "mind noise" as though it was gospel.  We believe everything!  We accept it, receive it and make it part of ourselves.  If someone said the same things to us that say to ourselves...we would likely find someone else to talk to.

Don't believe the lie.

Challenge your thought life. "Where did that come from? "
 "Is it true?  "
Have a good ole - fashioned argument with yourself before you allow your thoughts to become  your DNA.

A man reaps what he sows.
Don't be misled: No one makes a fool of God. What a person plants, he will harvest. The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others—ignoring God!—harvests a crop of weeds. All he'll have to show for his life is weeds! But the one who plants in response to God, letting God's Spirit do the growth work in him, harvests a crop of real life, eternal life.   Galations 6: 7,8

Here again we are in the driver's seat of life.  We get to choose how we want our life to look like. 
If we plant kindness...we will harvest a ton of kindness back to ourselves. 
If we plant negative attitudes...wonder of wonders...we harvest negative attitudes.
If we are stingy with all we have...what do you think will come back to ourselves?  Don't think for a moment that we going to have a ton of folks wanting to be your friend!

Your thoughts and following actions will reap your destiny.

But it is your choice.  YOU get to CHOOSE.

If you choose to be forgiving...forgiveness is given back to you.
If you are generous...others will be generous to you.

Your future is based on how you think and act today.  Do not for one minute think that your actions have no consequence.

It all starts with our thinking.  Guard your thoughts.  Our good thoughts we sow become good habits and reap a good harvest. 
Sow goodness and goodness will come back to you.  But be mindful...whatever you sow it will come back to you...it is yours to choose!

Perhaps no greater indicator of success is best identified by the company you keep.

Think about it.
If your friends are into school...you will likely be into school.
If your friends are responsible...you will likely be responsible.
If your friends are wealthy...you will likely be wealthy.

Similarly the list is endless that has negative associations.
If your friends do drugs...you will likely do drugs.
If your friends are smoking...you likely will be a smoker.
If your friends are dishonest...you will likely be dishonest.

So why is this so powerful a determinant?

If has been said, "Birds of a feather---flock together."
Teachers will tell you that if a new "bad" student arrives at school...by the end of the day he will have found his or her "bad friends".  It is like they are comfortable with each other.  They understand each other.   How does this so easily happen.

A favourite Proverbs says: Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens the wits of another.  It is likened to  peer pressure that can either be positive or negative.  Positive peer pressure could be sharpening in that it encourages you to "lift more than your comfort zone" in the Gym.  Whereas negative peer pressure would be to cheat on an exam as all your friends are.

From this we can take from it that our relationships can sharpen us for good...or for bad.  So who is sharpening you?  Is that friend sharpening you for "good"?  

The big learning here is that it seems like we are in the drivers seat on this one.  We get to choose who we get to hang-out with.  We know the people who are good for us and we know the ones we should stay away from.  We are chooser's ---- we get to choose and therefore we must choose wisely...as its resultant effect on us will be great...either for good or for bad.

Lots actually.

Consider the Tsunami of 2005 that hit Indonesia...places like Puket became household names on that fated day.  Many people died that day...that need not have had they been able to understand the signs and then take appropriate action.

But first lets consider the concept of "drawback"  (click on the link to review it before you go further)

Essentially, all the water on the beach is 'drawn back' and for a short period of time the seabed is open to view.  You can see the bare seabed which was underwater only minutes ago.  Many find this intriguing and go out onto the seabed to explore...not knowing of the impending danger that will soon beset them.  Even more sad is that many tourists will ask the locals..."what is all this about".  They too, were unable to interpret what is happening.   In the picture attached to this entry is a shot of family that were unable to interpret the times...they went exploring when they should have been seeking higher ground.

Leaders of all roles and responsibilties, whether it be in the home or in business or government...must be able to interpret the signs of the times and make decisions that will make a safe harbour for their followers.

The tsunami did not arrive without first providing some "signs" that it was coming.  Many "signs" today announce that change is coming (like the "drawback") but will we be wise enough to interpret them or will we miss it and risk losing our lives and those we lead?

What are the warning signs that you need to heed?

What are the warning signs that our society needs to heed?

What you going to do today about it?